Your Humble Narrator

I HATE NP

Pet Peeves: CCA and Blogger.

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Xiangling's on the phone with me talking about my attitude towards the sec ones and if they respect me or not. This whole system gives a whole new meaning to the word "screwed".

I feel very sad. Like ive failed in some way or another.

I'm a failed NCO, forgive the cheesiness.

Truth be told, somehow, I feel really, really sad when Xiangling said Jess and I werent up to standards. We were too nice, not firm, et cetera. Cant you guys tell we're fucking trying? Why put us together if we're both too nice for our own good? I'm not the lame walkover kind, but the sec ones have NOT crawled over our heads yet.

So I'm a failed NCO. And its my third week on the fucking job. Well fuck.

I cant believe I already feel for the sec ones. I think about them and Xiangling's comments; I'm disappointed.

I'm not supposed to care this much. Things just dont happen as planned.

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I love tennis on monday nights with rebekah, clarissa and the J Brothers. It's the only thing i look forward too all week, three hours of pure bliss. Joshua, the Mike Teavee lookalike, can make me happy for all of 24 hours before everything starts to wear off. Was his doubles partner on monday and i nearly died laughing on the court.

I was happy when i came home. Ate chocolate, released endorphins and felt happy. I was supposed to start mugging about an hour ago, but Xiangling called and took up all my time. I'm behind in my studying schedule and it's all np again. It's all np again. When is it ever not? And now i feel like crap again. I need those endorphins but i finished all the chocolate.

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My eyes they bleed me dry
My ears they make me cry.

I hate np.